Friday, June 6, 2003 at 11:28 p.m.
Check it out: East Meets West
Entered by Denny
Friday, May 16, 2003 at 09:34 p.m. There is so much to say...a final blog entry--how can I include everything?
My first inclination is to thank everyone for their reading. I know for certain that many of you have often times disagreed with what I have written; in fact, I cannot think of one person who has agreed with everything. That's proven to be good, and I have kept my goal of avoiding self-censorship. Of course, there are a few exceptions to that, but they prove minor and insignificant in the grand scheme of things. Again, thanks for caring--caring enough to visit frequently (and not so frequently for others). Even more kudos to those who have actually replied either through email or in conversation about my topics; this has led to mind-simulating discussions and sometimes flat out pointless bickering. I enjoy both. Thanks again.
I would say that keeping a blog has helped me see how I have changed over the course of two years. I commented earlier about the academic focus versus the save-the-world-superman focus. I would like to think that this year, I am a blend. I have also seen how my worries about Chemistry grades and English projects have transformed into demands for reform in HRC membership and more accurate representation in Student Senate. It has been interesting and I do not regret blogging in any sense.
I cannot simply leave without thanking Emma, who has been so kind and awesome to help me with each and every one of my designs (except this one, and look how it turned out). Her patience with my ideas and creativity are greatly appreciated.
I do not believe that I have really offered any strong reason to close Denny's Utopia. Well, I have been overwhelmed lately, and the blog has really lost its fun. It has been more of a task, thinking to myself, "Oh, shucks, I have to update." In addition, there are so many things I really want to say but cannot, given the Utopia's public nature. I am not closing the Utopia because anyone else wants me to do such; the decision was my choice. Controversy that has recently sprung from my entries also has been annoying. I hate having to repeatedly defend my opinions to everyone and anyone. Perhaps it is my responsibility as a blogger; if it is, it is one duty that I do not feel like maintaining. I also find no point to blog anymore. It is a great tool for all my friends to keep in contact with the going-ons in my life--I cannot argue with that. But sometimes, when I am too emotional or upset, I may blog, and that can very easily end up offending others. Do not think of my shutting Denny's Utopia as a drastic attempt in self-censorship; instead, think of it as trying to be polite and courteous to my friends and everyone else out there. I apologize if I have been too extreme in my views.
I will be starting a private blog a.s.a.p. I do not intend on giving the links to anyone, for that matter. It will be only read and updated by me, and it will be extreme as I want--I will not have to worry about offending anyone.
Thanks so much for listening to me rant over the years, some of you longer than others. I appreciate the fact that you are concerned.
Kudos forever. Entered by Denny
Monday, May 12, 2003 at 07:21 p.m. I think I need to clarify. I have never hated Science Olympiad or been glad that the high school dropped from the top ten. Never have I rejoiced at such news. My reaction was shock and surprise, but never happiness. I have too many friends to think such terrible thoughts; I have only wanted the best for the Olympiad, and I still staunchly believe that reform is best, while others may disagree. I hope that clarifies my attitude...
The next thing I have to say is goodbye. I have decided that having a public blog is more troublesome than having a private one, to which I will give no one the link. I greatly appreciate the audience, "Utopians," to whom I refer. It has been a nice, almost two years blogging, with definitely memorable moments. I thank everyone for giving me advice in times of need--and even when I did not need it. I do not have time to type out a whole goodbye speech, which I will do so before the end of the week. That will be my last chance to say "goodbye." So, I will post once more, and then it'll be quits. Thank you everyone for being so kind. I'm sure what I have said at times may not have been agreeable, perhaps even controversial, but the fact that you keep on coming back--such a certain sign of loyalty. Thank you so much.
Kudos for now.
Entered by Denny
Sunday, May 11, 2003 at 12:35 a.m. After 14 years (correct me if I am wrong) of placing in the top ten of the nation, the high school's Science Olympiad team fell to 12th at the competition in Ohio Saturday.
I have mixed reactions to the team's rank this year. I think I would have been devastated had I actually been a member...but now, I think it is alright--perhaps even healthy--for the Olympiad. Mr. Reed is so intent on winning; I think sometimes he forgets the equally as important stuff, like having fun. Maybe it is because I never had an event with the guy, but to me, he seems so bent up on maintaining a tradition. Such a tradition of excellence can only last for so long before it starts breaking. Even before I was cut, I have been against the cutting process. It can end up ruling out people who are dedicated and hard working--and put on people who slack off and whatnot.
What I really hope comes from this experience is reform. It was interesting to see the middle schools, who do not have such a try-out procedure, place in the top ten (fifth and seventh). I hope that Mr. Reed will re-evaluate what success is, and perhaps eliminate try-outs for next year. It does not seem to have much of an effect on performance. He needs to understand that while some people cannot contribute academically, it is possible for that person to be a "cheerleader" for the team. And these people are necessary. I'm not saying that I am one of those people, but I do believe Mr. Reed should look at this like a reality check. Reform.
It'll be difficult to talk to my friends, the team members, Monday. I do feel so sorry for them. It will be an awkward subject. I mean, how would someone take it if I said, "So, nice job this weekend!" or even the opposite, "Man, you guys sucked!" I think I'll try to avoid the subject altogether.
Kudos for now. Entered by Denny
Sunday, May 11, 2003 at 12:35 a.m. After 14 years (correct me if I am wrong) of placing in the top ten of the nation, the high school's Science Olympiad team fell to 12th at the competition in Ohio Saturday.
I have mixed reactions to the team's rank this year. I think I would have been devastated had I actually been a member...but now, I think it is alright--perhaps even healthy--for the Olympiad. Mr. Reed is so intent on winning; I think sometimes he forgets the equally as important stuff, like having fun. Maybe it is because I never had an event with the guy, but to me, he seems so bent up on maintaining a tradition. Such a tradition of excellence can only last for so long before it starts breaking. Even before I was cut, I have been against the cutting process. It can end up ruling out people who are dedicated and hard working--and put on people who slack off and whatnot.
What I really hope comes from this experience is reform. It was interesting to see the middle schools, who do not have such a try-out procedure, place in the top ten (fifth and seventh). I hope that Mr. Reed will re-evaluate what success is, and perhaps eliminate try-outs for next year. It does not seem to have much of an effect on performance. He needs to understand that while some people cannot contribute academically, it is possible for that person to be a "cheerleader" for the team. And these people are necessary. I'm not saying that I am one of those people, but I do believe Mr. Reed should look at this like a reality check. Reform.
It'll be difficult to talk to my friends, the team members, Monday. I do feel so sorry for them. It will be an awkward subject. I mean, how would someone take it if I said, "So, nice job this weekend!" or even the opposite, "Man, you guys sucked!" I think I'll try to avoid the subject altogether.
Kudos for now. Entered by Denny
Friday, May 9, 2003 at 11:39 p.m. I think it is appropriate for a blog entry right now. Don't worry; I won't make it too depressing or whatever.
I spent the last two hours or so working on an HRC newsletter. Of course, the writing was not the hard part. The majority of the time was pouring over previous notes and campaign information to find out exact specifics, like how many people signed the Falun Gong petition. Thank goodness it's done. Well, not exactly. I have incomplete figures on two of the campaigns. Unfortunately, I did not regularly update the List of Accomplishments. That has worked toward my disadvantage. Speaking of HRC, I still have not typed the notes from the last meeting.
I noticed that I have changed this year. I am all "must-have-the-world" now. It is strange. Last year, I would not miss school--not even with a fever of 102. This year, I have missed days for racism conferences. Hmmm. That has got to be the typical "out to save the world" syndrome. Racism and human rights abuses remain quite high on the list. School, while number one, does not seem so important. Perhaps it is the realization that it is not the grade that matters...but how one changes the world. Why else am I in those organizations? I have put in hours for HRC, but I never really thought why. It was always more of a conditioned response...kinda like, "Sure, I'll do it! I'll type the notes; no prob!" But why? Because I believe in the goals of the organization--how corny. No, that is what they all want to believe. There must be something else; while I agree with HRC's goals, that cannot be the only thing that pulls me toward it. People, of course, make a difference. As much as Cassie Veach may be out to annoy me, she is still great to have around in HRC. One thing I definitely want to talk about at the retreat is membership. We have people with all sorts of dedication levels, some lower than others. But we need to determine what constitutes a member. Is it fair to the member who attends every Tuesday meeting and actively participates in group activities that the other member, who perhaps attended one meeting and barely participated in one campaign, put down HRC as a club for college? I should hardly think not. Elizabeth's answer would be, "It does not hurt us; we can still use them as resources." Of course we can. But I hardly think of it as appropriate to consider them members. And it does hurt member A, who worked so hard. I think this is why I was so insistent on having an awards ceremony. I felt that a huge thank you needed to go out to those members who are so dedicated. Everyone knows his own dedication level. One should not judge another on the dedication level. But laziness, I think, is the key. Member B claims to be busy on Tuesdays after school. Dentist appointment--logical excuse. Too bad the dentist appointment is not until 4:50 and HRC meetings end, at the latest, by 4:00. Oh well. I just do not understand. Why do people search and scour the world for excuses? It is okay to say: I do not have the time; I do not care enough; it is not important to me. Perhaps it is the idea of self-image. Perhaps they want to appear like human rights means something to them. Or again, maybe they are just lazy. I don't know. I am just sick of excuses. All we ask is that if you cannot attend a meeting, provide a reasonable excuse. I do not think sleep counts as an excuse. Get that at 11:00 p.m. All I am saying is that if HRC and its goals mean so much to you, then you (as in the bad member) should be out finding ways to get involved. One member who I have in mind probably has missed half of the HRC meetings. But he is still out there, involved, taking time to do what is necessary. He asks questions about the meetings he missed. This is how I know that he cares. Maybe it is just that the person's priorites are different than mine. That could be it. At the retreat, I will demand that we set something for membership. A minimum number of meetings or something...it just does not seem right. If something has hurt HRC the most this year, I believe it has been the "I'll do it" and then the no follow through. Maybe my verison of HRC is too serious...but how else can we get anything done? We need to approach the issue with a serious mind and ask questions--find out what is happening. Meetings are always fun, but we need to stay on task. Elizabeth is happy with the amount of dedication we currently get--is it too much to ask for more? If it were up to me, which, clearly, it is not, I would put the members up for review at the end of every year. And perhaps it means calling the neglient member for an interview and discussing what HRC means to him or her. By discussing, I mean with other officers, of course. Discussing by oneself would be no better than a dictatorship. Everyone should be responsible for his actions or sometimes, his lack of actions. I do not find it unreasonable at all to ask for an excuse. Approach an officer--or if you can't, approach a member--say what has happened, why you cannot attend the meeting, and try to stay informed. If there is no conflict, I certainly expect you to be at HRC. Packing is no excuse either. Of course, sleep is the sillest one I have heard. I don't know. Yah, it is not up to mean to determine excuses, but I just get mad when people say "I'm a member of HRC." Oh really? What campaigns have we done? What have you done? I could tell who those people were when I tallyed up the nominations. Those people who left Most Memorable HRC Moment blank or Most Successful Campaign--especially those who were "members" since the beginning of the school year--blank did not know what HRC meant. I just expect too much from everyone. Heaven forbid, I actually expect people to do what they said they are going to do.
The NHS election is Tuesday. I am nervous. We only have a minute or so to deliver our campaign speeches; what can one say in a minute? Vote Chan! Eh. Perhaps. Vote for the HRC Nazi. Whew. Sorry for the long HRC rant.
Kudos for now. Entered by Denny
Tuesday, May 6, 2003 at 11:47 p.m. I just wish teachers would stop assuming that I'm going to Ohio. I mean, sometimes their plain ignorance is hurtful. Maybe because I just let it become hurtful. But anyways, I've already blogged about Mr. Smith and whatnot. Here are a few more excerpts...
Atchison: So, are you ready to go off to Nationals now in acouple of days?
I don't even think he understood the emphasis of "THEY'RE." I think I would be able to handle this a lot better if I were able to detach myself from it.
Practically all my friends are in Science Olympiad, which poses a hefty problem in itself. Not like censorship, but to even get them to stop talking about SO or going to practice would be quite a feat. Not that I want to do that, but ya know, it would make it so much easier in terms of detachment. And then the teachers, as one can clearly see, do not help.
Of course, I always start thinking what did I do wrong. Perhaps it was because I wasn't strong enough in enough events. Perhaps it was because I didn't have much of a relationship with Mr. Reed. Perhaps it was that time I woke up late in Delaware. Perhaps it's paranoia. Perhaps I should just take the advice of my peers and rough out the next five days or so. Even then, it'll still feel empty in Pre-Calc. Oh well...
Kudos for now. Entered by Denny
Friday, May 2, 2003 at 11:56 p.m. I do not understand why my entries always have to be so depressing.
First and foremost, a decent "happy birthday" should go out to Sarah Brower. I did not have much of a chance to say it tonight, but I doubt she even reads this.
I feel like I am failing. Not just in Physics--I have gotten used to that feeling for a while...but I feel like I lack social grace and charm. Clearly, I was not born with these traits. There are times when I feel like I am drowning because I lack these traits. I try so hard. And at times, it works. Most of the time, the pretense charm and social grace just flop and hit me right back in the face. And I feel so embarassed. Why do I try to be someone I am not?
I would like to question what constitutes a good friend. While I am quite certain it really depends on the individual and his or her preferences, there must be a basic guideline or something. How does one determine? What is the real difference between an aquaintance, a friend, and most importantly, a crush? What is one supposed to do when his friend may mean more or may mean less? Is it proper to ask? Perhaps my feelings and intellect are not developed enough to determine. Perhaps it is due to my inexperience in that field...when friends just does not do it anymore. I do not know.
Ai, ai, ai. Well, I think that I should be off to bed at this time.
Kudos for now. Entered by Denny
Monday, April 28, 2003 at 04:13 p.m. I have already told some people that I am strongly considering shutting down the Utopia and starting a new journal without releasing the URL. And I am still considering.
I cried myself to sleep last night. It was a terrible evening. I kept on replaying all these events over and over again from December with my friends, upon hearing about my being cut:
Mike: You're shittin' me.
And this was replayed over and over again until I burst into tears and eventually went to bed. As much as I hate to admit, I am having so much more trouble getting over this than I originally predicted. It is so hard when everyone I know is there. The enormous (and highly deserved) victory at State only made it worst. It has been months. And I began wondering last night: what the heck did I do wrong? What mistake did I make? I am one of the most hard working people I know, and to be cut from the team was not only severely discouraging, but also a huge embarassment. Today, when Mr. Grimes congratulated the team(s) on their victory, Mr. Smith and I had a brief discussion:
Smith: Congratulations, Denny! Nice job! [Grimes's announcement is overheard on the PA]
Of course, Mr. Smith, I should have done it. And I continue to wonder what flaw I have that makes me non-Science Olympiad-able. I must be a terrible person and not even notice it.
I think the picture on the front page of the newspaper captured the night so well. Ben, Bret and Rachael are up at the podium (this is when Grand Haven is celebrating its victory) and their look--impossible to explain. But I'll try anyway: it is so vacant. A few of them are applauding, but their faces indicate that they could not simply care less. Haha. They look so bored. And then there are those poeple who look enthused. Ariane is clapping so rapidly that her hands are a blur on the photo, and Matt D. and Alex have their hands up. Molly's mouth is gaping open due to her laughing and cheering. It is such a great photo.
Oh, I put up my election posters today; I doubt anyone will notice.
Kudos for now.
Entered by Denny
Sunday, April 27, 2003 at 11:35 p.m. While Grand Haven rolls in joy over its victory Saturday at the State Science Olympiad Tournament, a death falls upon the hands the school. Lela Johnson had another heart attack this weekend, and, unlike the previous one, she did not survive this time. I feel so bad for Ross and Adam, Lela's step-brothers, who I knew. They are both extraordinary people--I even met Ross's mom at conferences. They seemed so happy. While I do not think it's appropriate for me to get all worked up over her death (because I didn't know her), I do not find it hardly proper to be basking in glory over a victory--especially when a death is so much more significant. I also find myself so stinkin' selfish as I re-read the previous entries from this weekend. Here I am, sitting at home, feeling so sorry for myself because everyone else would be in Ohio in two weeks...and Ross, who I would call a friend, just had a sister die. How could I be so selfish and so self-absorbed? Ross, my deepest apologies go out to you and your family...I'm sorry for being so self-centered. Kudos for now. Entered by Denny
Saturday, April 26, 2003 at 08:12 p.m. Breaking News.
Grand Haven got first; Lakeshore got first, and White Pines got second. Congratulations go out to the HS and middle schools.
As much as it pains me to say this, I feel awful inside. I just got off the phone, where everyone was estatic and screaming. They were all so happy that they were going to Ohio. But I was at home. I could not share the moments of fun and success with them. They will all go to Ohio for a few days. I'll be all alone in Pre-Calculus...how incredibly selfish I sound. While I am so proud that they did extremely well, I cannot even go along to sit on the sidelines--not even as an alternate. They all said that they love me. How I love them...my friends. My friends. But the enormous amount of saddness I feel. Why? Why can't I get over it? It'll make headlines, of course. This happened last year, but I felt so much better because I was there--I was there when the magic happened. Ai ai ai. Wo bu zhi dao le. I probably sound so bitter; I do not know if bitter is the right way to classify it. Just sadness. I was not there. I better get used to it, though. I should feel so happy for them, and part of me does, but how can I come to terms with this? If only I had been there...how much I wanted to be there. I just have to get over this. My dusty box of medals is there, and it is not going to be taken out again. My years are over. It's time to accept reality. *sigh* Kudos for now. Entered by Denny
Saturday, April 26, 2003 at 07:24 p.m. It's been a fast weekend. Already, we are approaching Saturday evening. While everyone is over in E. Lansing, I am stuck at home. I really hope they did well, even if I am not on the team this year. Results like last year were phenomenal. I think a little part depends on luck, and if they are as great as the weather today, then I expect all three teams in Ohio this year. Well, I wish one of them would call me. Ai ai ai. Time to continue that Euro paper. Kudos for now. Entered by Denny
Friday, April 25, 2003 at 06:58 p.m. Why is that I always have to blog on a negative note? My friends got me excited about something I thought I wouldn't be excited about in a while...Science Olympiad. State competition is this weekend. In fact, the SO team members are in Lansing as we speak, preparing for a long day of competition. My friends really wanted me to go, and I even overcame a slight homework scheduling problem. Parental units, however, said no. They want me to do more constructive things. I was so excited.
To be honest, if I had gone to E. Lansing, I would not know how I felt. For once, I would be on the sidelines--not even as an alternate--but as a person simply who was there to watch. I do not know if my brain would have been able to process it. I know that my friends will be disappointed because I did not go. I truly had wanted to go, but I also do not know how I would have handled myself. I lack the charm, grace and suaveness of so many others. Just seeing the team all united in the yellow shirts might have made me puke.
I started working today. *yawn* I cannot complain, though; the pay is not bad at all. And everyone is really nice. Even the kid who mutters to himself and the girl who looks like she is 12, despite their strangeness, are not rude. Well, I guess I have to get used to it. I work even more hours next week.
What else is there to blog? Hmmm. Guess I should call it a night online. Kudos for now. Entered by Denny
Wednesday, April 23, 2003 at 04:15 p.m. Perhaps I do not have a life. At least you have something to read. NHS induction is tonight, and while I have already inducted, I still have to go. I originally wanted to get posters up tonight--like show up a little earlier. I don't think I'll have the time, unfortunately. I plan on getting that done this weekend, when everyone is at State Competition. I thought about going to State, actually. I don't know why I am not going. Hmmm. Kudos for now. Entered by Denny
Tuesday, April 22, 2003 at 11:32 p.m. How in the world do I find time to update? This is absolutely crazy. I'm glad to say that I am doing much better than two entries ago, and while I wouldn't say that I fully recovered from the incidents of this past weekend, I have made significant progress to return to the status quo. Of course, I will always have those "What if..." thoughts in my head occasionally...but I can handle those.
I wonder sometimes if I am truly ready for a high school relationship. I have always been so staunchly against it that I don't think I've provided myself enough time to actually digest the concept without disapproving of it immediately. Wow...long sentence. So I think that perhaps it is time that I experimented with such, but I really don't think I have the time. I've already taken on so much this school year, and if I do strangely win the election for NHS President, ai, I'll be overloaded. Still, I guess I should open myself up to more opportunities. It may actually be healthy for me.
Let me make a comment on self-censorship. I strongly am against any sort of censorship...period. I feel that after each entry needs to reflect my current mood and what I am feeling; otherwise, it would be insignificant to blog. I strongly disapprove of any actions to delete, edit (unless, of course, there is a typo), or alter in any way entries that have already been posted. I feel that this is a terrible form of self-censorship. One should never be afraid of expressing his or her own views. And besides, if one does fear, then he or she should definitely not blog about it. Maybe from all this, I should start a new blog and just not give anyone the URL. Then I could secretly record those thoughts that I don't want anyone else to know. Just a thought.
I'm tired of HRC. And Veach. She's getting annoying. Of course, I will always support the cause. Kudos for now. Entered by Denny
Monday, April 21, 2003 at 11:04 p.m. Perhaps I was overreacting a bit in my previous entry. Sorry for all that babble. I spoke with her, and everything is fine now. I'm glad that we've returned to the status quo. In fact, I think all I needed was reassurance that our relationship would not change despite the events of the previous weekend. Talking--although not apparent at the time--did help. It's good, too. I can actually read Invisible Man without interruptions; things are back to normal. Kudos for now. Entered by Denny
Sunday, April 20, 2003 at 11:34 p.m. It's late; it's Easter. It's been a long weekend. I told a girl that I liked her. It was really one of the first times for me, and to be quite honest, it went well. Even though it came out over the Internet, truly a way I did not intend for such to happen. I am worried though. She said that the feelings weren't mutual. And I've been unfortunately thinking about it for the rest of the weekend. I even thought about it when I read for leisure, which tells me that there's something very wrong. I could always get lost in a book before. Part of me wishes that she wouldn't read this. I just wanted a place to record my thoughts...I don't know. Why do I have to be infatuated? I mean, I'm still way too young with way too many preconceptions of love and how it's supposed to work. And I know that as much as I do not want it to change our friendship, I know it will. In subtle, whispery ways. I hate rejection. Why can't my posts ever be any more cheerful? Kudos for now. Entered by Denny
Tuesday, April 15, 2003 at 04:47 p.m. I nominated myself for Presidency this morning at the National Honor Society meeting. I found out that I face competition for the spot, and it has made me very reluctant. I ran many times for student government in middle school: how idealistic and out of tune with reality I was then. The closest I ever got was as an alternate or something. I thought that, perhaps, with this National Honor Society deal, it would be different. It has always been a popularity contest; I have never had many friends. I do want a say in how NHS is run, and I feel that I am well qualified for president. But I know that the majority of the NHS members will not vote for someone who is most qualified. Like it or not, they will vote for the other candidate. Not because he is more qualified but because he has more friends. Since when is that fair? To those who do not have so many friends, they cannot successfully run for office. Why is it the most well liked person who gets the position? He is better looking, more popular and probably has so many friends. I fear the outcome. I can already predict a landslide victory in his favor, and again, I will be humilated. I have already decided that even if I lose this election, I will remain active in NHS and speak for change. The current NHS is a crock. People always skip meetings and talk when one of the officers--or even worse, one of the advisors--is speaking. They do homework. I do not want to eliminate the fun from NHS, but I feel compelled to do something. Run for office. Only one person ran last year. I just hope that I am not defeated so badly in the landslide that I am predicting. It is never supposed to be a popularity contest, but it always is. It's so hopeless. The only reason I hold office this year in HRC is because I ran against no one else, and even if I did, I have so many friends in there. I have until the next meeting to find some strange way to sway votes from him to me. Reform needs to happen, and I am afraid that with other candidates, things will only stay the same or get even worse. Please, just do not be a landslide victory. I only have a few friends in NHS. Please. Vote for the most qualified. The person who will be most dedicated and do the best job. Not the best friend. Not the guy everyone likes. I have never been that person. Many people are neutral toward me, and perhaps, if I ran unopposed, I could get the position. But with someone else...it's like chemistry. I am neutral. He is positive. More negative ions (votes) will go to him than yours truly. I feel that I could do the best job. Instituting reform and whipping that organization into shape sounds like a challenge, but one I am willing to take. Should I already prepare for my loss? My defeat? I hate losing (and being wrong). But what else can I do? I am not going to change my platform (instituting reform) just because the majority of people will not like it. Whenever someone joins an organization, he or she makes a committment. Lack of attendance shows...ai. I was so happy, too. I was so happy that perhaps I would run unopposed. How can I win now? I cannot even identify with students. What am I supposed to do? Sit back and let everything get worse? Mr. Laughlin was babbling about how he hates that students do not care...he was talking about politics. Consider this NHS Election politics. I care--enough to run. But how can I stop myself from caring if I cannot successfully institute change? Perhaps I just need another harsh slap of reality. I cannot win. I can only do my best. Kudos for now. Entered by Denny
Friday, April 11, 2003 at 12:46 p.m. I guess there is a need for me to comment on the recent mysterious flu outbreak in Asia. SARS, short for severe acute respiratory syndrome, has become an epidemic, with many organizations and countries warning travelers against unnecessary travel to Hong Kong and Guangdong, a southern province of China. I know that the many officials in the Asia region are doing their best to prevent the outbreak from spreading, even though the numbers of those afflicted increase daily. My primary concern is that when the disease is transferred to the Americas--it has already seen some traces in Toronto and other North American cities--I fear that racism will once again rear its ugly head and that many Asians will face extreme racism as a result of SARS. Perhaps I am worrying too much, but I can already see it happening. There are my opinions.
Kudos for now. Entered by Denny
Wednesday, April 9, 2003 at 02:42 p.m. I have usually been known as one to stray from the norm. I have not minded it, and I usually do not cast much doubt on my actions, unless, that is, I have the pleasure of hindsight. I typically do not get that pleasure, however. Sorry for the format, by the way. I just can't think that "journalistic" way at this moment. I respect my friends so much. I respect their decisions. Oh dear, more of me rambling...again. I respect their actions. I may not always agree with them, but heck, they chose to live that way, and the only thing I can do about it is perhaps advise them another route of action. How vauge I am being. Oh well. People--many of my friends and aquaintances--want me to go to Prom. They mistake me for this geek, who huddles in the corner and reads at any given opportunity. Or studies...How wrong they are. I wish I could blog so much more--just vent. But I can't. This is perhaps one of the disadvantages and advantages of today's technology. All this can be read by anyone--anytime. I've even had friends'parents read this before, and I cannot say much. I also hate self-censorship. I wish people would simply respect my decision about prom...I know that most of them have good intentions and 75% of the time are simply joking or kidding with me, but I am so sick of the topic of prom. Jason Amayun asked me weeks ago if I could keep my position with all these people bugging and pressuring me. I admit, I have made my anti-prom views rather clear. Even Elizabeth caved in: one of the few people who were not planning on attending prom because of the AP Literature exam the following Monday. Perhaps Jason was right, and I am starting to slip. Sometimes, I feel so alone. As if no one really truly knows me. I love my family, and I would give up so much for them, and my friends, too. But do they really know me? Do they simply mistake me for that stereotypical Asian who sits in the corner and reads? Studies? Knows Physics formulas by heart? Memorizes lines from Shakespeare and recites them as if I knew them like the back of my yard? I hate it when the kids in AP Lit asked me what I got on my test to see if I set the curve. I am not even that good in vocab. Why do people have to assume? Do they even know me that well? My family knows me...but my friends? The HRC Nazi? The kid who got cut from SO? What am I? Who are they to judge me...and how I have fun? They say that I get a kick out of studying. Right...right. I study because I want to excel. Screw you and your narrow-minded views. To whom am I talking? I don't even know. Our verisions of fun differ. So stinking what? Why do I have to be coerced into this Prom trip? I already said I would go next year. Just stop! My life is dull, I admit. But I like it like this. Everything is manageable. Situations are organized. My sister's been watching tapes of Dawson's Creek over and over again--the drama those people undergo--what were the producers thinking? Does that truly model teenage life? I certainly hope not, because if it does, I live such a sheltered life. Which...I know that I do. Heck, I probably don't even seem like a teenager. Someone once said that she wished she could live like me...ha...so sheltered. What was she on? You want to step into my shoes and live a day in the life of DC? How confused you must be. A substitute teacher once yelled at me. I was itching my eye because my contact felt weird. It was the first time that I was ever repimanded...I didn't even know she was addressing me at first. I thought she was talking about the kid slouched over sitting next to me. "No, the young man in the blue." Hey, that's me! Everyone in the class burst into laughing. Denny--a troublemaker? That's like streets of lard in heaven instead of streets of gold.
How dare you assume that just because I am not in student gov't I didn't try? How...what gives you the right? Absolutely nothing. Well roundedness? Ha. Involved? Are you implying that I am not involved? You pathetic...Oh! I could care less. You are so stinkin' conservative. Why do I have to be in a leadership position? Class president? I do not care what your kids were--first of all, they were educated twenty years ago. The situation has changed. Sports, well, that's one point I do find semi-reasonable. However, I will not force myself to do anything I detest--including sports. All that cursing...ugh.
Well, it is Spring Break. I guess that I should at least try to cheer up...or something. Kudos for now. Entered by Denny
Saturday, March 22, 2003 at 11:14 p.m. I think I'm going try a new format--not a new layout--but a few format of writing for the blog. I need something new. Here it goes...
Denny urged to attend Prom
Denny's Utopia has received credible information from Utopian resources that Denny has been urged to attend the Prom this year.
I'm not sure if I like this format or not...but it's new and I'll experiment with it, I guess...kudos for now.
Entered by Denny
Friday, March 21, 2003 at 11:24 p.m. I need a good vent-ful post. Now sounds like a great time. As many of you already know, my grades are terrible. No need to ask. I somehow managed to get a B in Physics--I feel ill. No matter HOW hard I try in that class, I cannot--for the life of me--figure out the multiple choice questions on the test. MC sounds very friendly, doesn't it? Mr. Smith's aren't. You have to understand the concepts so well, or be a lucky guesser. Either or, and I am neither. I also have an A- in Euro. In that respect, I do feel like a failure...like I have failed not only myself but everyone around me. European History is the easier out of the two AP History classes, and I cannot pull off an A. I feel that I have failed even old Mr. Laughlin. I expect more of myself. Part of me wants to say that I have tried my best and that's good enough. People would die for these grades. The other part says no...it's not good enough--do not lower standards. Just because other people want these grades does not mean it is okay to get them. I can already predict a huge earthquake at the top of the class rank scale, and I do expect this ugly B to be my setback from becoming first or second in the class. My goal, ultimately--even with this ugly B--, is to say at 1, 2 or 3. Class rank does not matter to many people or colleges, but it is always something that was of great importance to me. Honestly, to know that I have worked that hard--usually lots of harder than many others--and still not performed well is despairing. Perhaps I'm analyzing this too much...
I call this the year of firsts--at least the school year of firsts. I get in a fiasco with Bucs' Blade regarding Student Senate. I have never before been reprimanded by a teacher before, and I also get cut from the Science Olympiad team, an organization I partook in for four years. Now...this? It's affecting my grades! I hate to just let everyone down, including myself. It pains me to think that I...I used to think of grades as a battle. Each class is a different war; I think I have explained this before...but...well, I have been winning the battles for a long time. Victorious, as you could say. Now, I am ending the battle defeated. I believe grades are good indicators of how well you learned--I have not learned well. I have not put forth the effort.
You know, there is been a recent notion of mine to resign from my positions as Vice President and Secretary of HRC, resign as a LEDA board member, quit EMBRACE and Ambassador clubs to get my grades back up--or do some of it, if not all. I would like to believe that I have not gotten stupider and that I am just too involved. Perhaps...but I know I cannot quit. I cannot let everyone in all those organizations down, either...
I need time to reevaluate what the heck I'm doing...it may seem selfish I am so obsessed when we're at war...well...kudos for now. Entered by Denny
Tuesday, March 4, 2003 at 04:59 p.m. Happy March! I just got back from an HRC meeting. I love HRC. I will always. But I'm wondering about other people. Perhaps I'm just too goal-oriented or uptight, but I feel that people who are in HRC are not doing what they should be. And by should, I clarify: should as in you signed up for HRC to be in a group that cares about human rights, and you will display responsibility in the tasks you perform. Attendance to the meetings is rather low, despite the "Oh, yeah, I'll be there,"'s I get from just about everyone. In my opinion, HRC should be compiled of people who are interested in human rights and remain committed to the cause. I don't feel like that's the case anymore. Sometimes, I wonder: do they come for the oreos? I guess this really happened (this being my starting to think about HRC's dedication) when we got three UAs last week and one this week. There are 15 HRC members. That is of concern to me. Some people did not get the UA notice--I understand. Some people forgot: I understand that too. But to simply NOT do a UA...without any explanation, to me, is absolutely insulting to the organization itself. If writing is not your hobby or what you feel comfortable doing, then tell me. I don't want to force you to do something you don't want to do. But I don't know this if you don't approach me! UAs, ladies and gentlmen, are not hard. They tell you what to write: it takes--at the most--fifteen minutes. Out of two weeks, 11 people could not find fifteen minutes to write one UA? It's not rocket science. How committed to the cause are you? I can tell when someone is dedicated. He will stop in between Science Olympiad practices; she will give the HRC a report that she was supposed to follow up on, even though she was ill and still is and has to do make-up work up the wazoo. She always has a UA done and ready on time. He may not come to his meetings, but I know he understands the cause of HRC because he financially supports us. Of course, I do not want HRC to be another class, but I expect members to have a certain sense of responsibility. If you forgot, I am not going to hang you: perhaps if you did two weeks in a row. I am not out to guilt trip someone, but I feel that I am not going to join an organization and not do anything all year. As an officer, I will NOT let HRC be one of those organizations where all you have to do is sign your name to register. That is not what I am fighting. I am fighting the human rights abuses. I could care less about bringing chips. I was just so disappointed beyond belief that people are not turning in UAs. You didn't get one: that's alright, have you seen Elizabeth to ask for a copy or some info? You lost one? Do the same as above. I don't understand. Pull up a seat and I'll explain. I'm new and I don't know what to do: in that case, I want you to be enthused about HRC--I want you to have that fresh sense of ideas and excitement. Do not join HRC just because I said so...that's not what I want. I want people who care and remain committed. Before last week, I did not realize that was too much to ask for; of course, I know we are all very busy people. However, I would also like to point out that fifteen minutes--at the most--in a one week time span is not a lot, especially if you claim to be as committeed to fighting human rights abuses as some claim they do. I was optimistic about having a human rights conference next year, but I question that at this point. I think it is time I reevaluated how much HRC means to other people: to me, it's not just an every Tuesday meeting--it's beyond that. For some, I don't even think it is a Tuesday meeting. Kudos for now. Entered by Denny
Sunday, February 23, 2003 at 01:41 a.m. This is the first post I've had for a long time...and it's going to be self-reflectory, unfortunately.
Someone said I was bitter today from being cut on the team. Practices have started for the past couple of weeks, and while my friends are up late studying for fossils or doing at-home experiments, I have found other ways to spend my time and not waste it. However, I cannot shake the feeling of emptiness I have...this feeling that, yes, I should be there after school--but that was only from year's past. I have a feeling that, yes, I should be walking with my friends to and from practice, doing the endless amounts of Science of Fitness homework and perfecting the lab reports for Experimental Design. So, in that respect, I am empty, but not bitter. Nothing will ever affect me in getting that letter will. I replay the scene in my brain. Walking to the mailbox. Talking to Elizabeth on the phone. Opening the letter. Reading. Having the world spin. It was my first true encounter head-on with failure, indeed. It questioned what I could do and who I really was, I won't argue with that. I did not take my first encounter with failure well. Tears dripped onto the letter and nearby envelope. I stayed home from school the very next day, and everyone knows how much school means to me not to miss it. It was of epic proportions. In some ways, it was also a change of character. I have learned to tune out my friends when they discuss what structures were like in Write it Do it. I have learned to tune out my friends reading their Cell Bio homework or Genetics books. If I do not tune them out, then I will be hurt, for being cut still is an open scar that has not fully healed. However, I would not say I am bitter. I have learned to brush past the Science Olympiad trophy case in the main hallway instead of gazing at it endlessly and wondering if "we" would do the same this year...because there is no "we" anymore. It is "them" and "me." Sure, somedays, I will wonder if any of my team mates miss me. I will wonder if Mike realizes it will be the very first year in Experimental Design, an event he has been in since the seventh grade, that "we" did not compete together. I wonder what food they will serve at the food tent and how late they will stay up in their rooms on the day before competition. Of course, that's only natural. But I don't obesses with it. Truth be told, my Science Olympiad days are long gone and over with; they're done. Kudos for now. Entered by Denny
Friday, February 14, 2003 at 06:31 p.m. Heavens. It's been ages since I last updated. Well, life is alright, I guess. To some extent, my grades are no where near where I would like them to be. I am worried about college. I was dreaming, yes, the word would be dreaming, about going to Columbia or Cornell. For some reason, 40,000 dollars just does not seem worth it, despite the fact that it would be an Ivy League education. I could get the same education, perhaps a little lower in quality, at U of M. However, the class sizes are so great there. I just do not know. My parents are not rich. I mean, they have enough, and I guess I could get some financial aide, but do I want to be immensed in debt when I get out--simply from a bachelor's degree education? I think not. That does not even include graduate school. What am I supposed to think? I am not a genius; I am not an athlete. I'm a nobody. Perhaps it was poor decision making ability on my part to get my hopes up and suddenly have them crashing down.
I did not attend the pep assembly today. Purposely. I always have a raging headache after those suckers. I have no school spirit either. It was simply coincedence I was wearing plaid that day. I wrote a letter on behalf of HRC, as a basis for our fundraising platform. It was much more productive.
Mr. Sikkenga encouraged me to run for Student Senate this spring. I laughed at the idea. I still somewhat do. The idea is so outrageous. I know for sure I would be defeated like a massive stampede stomping out a little ant. I'm not a prep, nor am I so extremely popular. I do not sit with them at lunch, nor do I act like them. In fact, I don't even go to the cafeteria on a regular basis for lunch. I am not Matt Cherette. I am not Liz Fox. I do admit that I have been toying with the idea, but it still seems so outrageous. Student Senate? He does not know the times I tried in middle school to run. Unfortunately, the closet I came was in 8th grade, and I lost by one vote. After being so terribly defeated, I decided not to run in 9th grade or ever since. It truly is simply a popular contest, and I am not going to endorse it. What was Mr. Sikkenga thinking? I don't know what he was thinking, nor do I know what Query was thinking either. I was supposed to take my vocab test after school today, but he stood me up. I wrote a note on the board that I would take it Monday during lunch. I guess that's all I can do.
Kudos for now. Entered by Denny
Saturday, February 1, 2003 at 10:40 p.m. Another quick update: I just wanted to express the warm fuzzies (like when you drink hot chocolate after making snow angels on a cold January afternoon) that I got after reading Bret's most recent entry. While the script was pretty much boring - and predictable - I thought the fact he wanted me there for conversation purposes was very cool and flattering. Of course, I'm sure everyone is having a good time as we speak. I don't remember The Bourne Identity as being that good of a movie anyways. Oh well...
Kudos for now. Entered by Denny
Saturday, February 1, 2003 at 10:19 p.m. Happy Chinese New Year! Cantonese: Kung Hei Fat Choi! Mandarin: Gong Xi Fa Cai! It is the year of the sheep, according to the lunar calendar. I got back from a New Year celebration in GR, and I don't think I have ever seen so many Chinese people in my entire life before at a school--unless it was in Chinatown or actually China. There was a potluck dinner, but most of it was the same variety of noodles stir-fried a different way (perhaps there was one more teaspoon of soy sauce in one than the other). Some exotic foods were also present, but the ones I tried were a bit too much for me. Following the dinner, (thankfully, we got a table for dinner with the numbers present) there was a performance--actually several. However, everything was delivered in Mandarin (probably because it was a mostly Mainland China-Taiwan immigrated audience). Therefore, in addition to not being able to understand, the auditorium was sweatingly warm. The overall aura was not good (which is why we left early...). Anyways, I'm glad I'm back at home, in a Cantonese-English, appropriately heated home.
I'm still patiently waiting for my Yesasia order to come in. I ordered a Twins CD set (how ironic--it's a Chinese New Year's edition), a Gigi Leung "G for Girl" Concert VCD, a movie VCD version of "So Close" and Mom got a book. Remember that yesasia has all your Asian entertainment needs! I placed the order early last week, and because we got free shipping, I'm sure that will amount in the delay as well.
I finished my Michigan Summer Institute application essay for the "Law and You" topic. Although it needed to be a page in length, I took a couple of hours to write it. I scrapped numerous introductions and conclusions. I even included a Shaw-ish element: full circle. I don't think it was 100% effective, though. Hmmmm. However, I also don't think that the MSI application officials will be scrutinizing my essay like Mrs. Shaw - or Mr. Query - would. Besides, tweaking it is out of the question, for I am rather sick of that essay. There is one part where I believe I could have worded it better, so I will just get a a second opinion (probably Elizabeth's) on Monday. The essay is due Friday. However, because of the essay, I completely neglected my other homework, which is never a good thing.
Happy Chinese New Year!
Kudos for now. Entered by Denny
Monday, January 27, 2003 at 04:10 p.m. I'm pissed. At almost everything. I had a very fruitless day. Nothing happened. And I'm still cold from this morning. Grrrr. I guess I should just keep on repeating what Ben Hecht told me a few days ago: It's better to be pissed off than pissed on. Kudos for now. Entered by Denny
Friday, January 24, 2003 at 11:41 p.m. I guess I should update. Firstly, I apologize to all Utopians for entering the last blog entry. It was very premature of me to do such an action--and it has caused an uproar of curiosity. However, I am sticking to my guns (and they're big guns, too--boom) and not releasing the name of the "lucky gal" until I have full confidence in the situation. By full confidence, I imply that I have completely analyzed the situation--which is difficult considering my novice-ship in such a situation. Until then, no names are to be released. And, of course, the first person to know will be her. That is, however, going to happen, I emphasize, at the right time. It is not going to happen with people insisting to know the truth. I would hope that all Utopians respect my decision not to release the name. If you do not agree with my decision, I do not mind persuasion--just not enforcement.
I have been staring blankly at the essay prompt for Michigan Summer Institute. 20 minutes passed. I have already scrapped many introductions. What am I looking for? Perhaps I am trying to perfect an essay that cannot be perfected. No matter how many AP English essays and Bucs' Blade articles I have read and edited, I cannot master this essay. And it is starting to irritate me.
Kudos for now.
Entered by Denny
Tuesday, January 21, 2003 at 08:02 p.m. I was thinking lately. Thinking very hard. About my actions. About what I do. About what I don't do. About what I say. About how I plan my day. *that unexpectedly rhymed* Anyways, I really analyzed it last night, which was remarkable considering the time constraint I was on. I've come up with an answer. It's scary. However, it's the only one that makes sense. And, unlike rumored to be, it's logical. I'm in love. And it's not with a celebrity (like Gigi, but she's still awesome)...it's with another gal student. I was so amazed at my discovery. Here I was, a person who promised himself not to worry about love and that sort of a deal during school--and I was doing it. I'm in love. How strange is that? All I know is...she's perfect.
Kudos for now. Entered by Denny
Saturday, January 18, 2003 at 05:00 p.m. I was once naive enough to think that things would not change between myself and my friends after I was cut from the Science Olympiad team. Just because I don't have practices with them anymore doesn't mean I can't be their friend. Besides, I've known many of them for too long and know them too well for them just to cut me off like that. But it's happened. I was too naive. When I was cut from Science Olympiad, I was cut from my friends in a way. I wasn't invited to two social functions already. It's odd, because I've noticed that everyone who goes to those events are still on the team. I would think that I would at least be invited, or if I wasn't home, a message would be left on the machine. But I wasn't even invited. I was left alone. Even if I wouldn't go, the thought of being invited is worth so much. To know that they still care and that the friendships won't change means so much. I have even thought that it would be wise to shut me away from them, to find new friends, so I wouldn't be hurt as much if and when I won't be invited to anything in the future. A part of me wants to do it to avoid future emotional injury, but another part can't give up what I do have with them.
The weather has been awful lately. I stayed home from a protest because of it. I don't want to do anything with the weather like this...
Kudos for now. Entered by Denny
Wednesday, January 15, 2003 at 12:49 p.m. Racism
I walked through one of the back stairwells on my way to my third hour. There are some students (didn't catch their faces) sitting on a bench nearby. As I descend the stairs, I hear someone mumble something, which I couldn't decipher. Then, the whole group bursts into laughter. I can see their reflection in the glass pane and I see their glare and hear their giggles. As I walked down the second flight, I overheard one making stereotypical Asian music sounds, and they laugh even harder. I then realize what just happened, and what they mumbled was something like "Chink or Chino." Entered by Denny
Tuesday, January 14, 2003 at 12:50 p.m. Blogs I've visited recently were very depressing. Out of those updated, two of those were talking about relationships. The other had a poem, a terribly written poem with the intent of humor by isolating and mocking a minority. To know that LEDA and other organizations have tried to work so hard to eliminate all sorts of discrimination--and to have this poem recited by a student. Our schools have failed in education. True, we remember a nifty little tune for the Quadratic equation (which I can share with you if ya want!) and teachers force us to analyze poetry to the core. What has the school system done for education in eliminating discrmination? There is an optional group called Calling All Colors in the middle school and E.M.B.R.A.C.E. in the high school. That is simply crazy. First of all, these organizations alone are not as efficient as they should be. In addition, if it's optional, then there will be no progress. Discrimination education (just made up that term) must be incorporated into the curriculum.
As for the relationship issues, I have so much empathy for the blogger who longs for the warm touch for a human being, who waits impatiently for her Prince Charming. Of course, I'm instantly filled with sadness and empathy as I read, but I can only be glad I don't feel the same way, because I could not be as strong as that blogger.
In addition, exams have begun! I aced my Physics exam, so it brought what was two marking periods at an A- to an A (by five tenths, isn't that amazing?!). I'm overjoyed.
Kudos for now. Entered by Denny
Friday, January 10, 2003 at 08:28 p.m. Of course school is competitive. In fact, sometimes, I think that the more competitive the school becomes, the greater the academics of the school--which can never fail. However, when does school become too competitive? No, I'm not talking about my whole dilemma over the class rank situation and what not; I'm discussing the severe amount of cheating that takes place in our public school system. I see some of the best students urging to grab a classmate's finished homework. What will you learn by accomplishing such? You'll learn how to read and write quickly--that's all. By cheating, you do not process the information as you should while doing homework. It's disgusting. I don't mind people helping others with their tarea. For example, comparing answers or something like that is fine--because both people did the work and at least attempted to understand the process. It makes me sad when I see others cheating. I don't know their entire situation, but...why do it? You didn't have enough time to study last night? Think about why...Because you were hanging out with friends? Here comes the anti-social aspect. You can talk to your friends and cut back that time by fifteen minutes just to do a Spanish worksheet! I'm not saying you should go into a corner with all your homework, papers and whatnot--the social aspect is nearly as important as academic development. However, by cheating, nothing is accomplished. Nothing.
While cheating is running rampant here, I'll talk about something else. At Bret's request, let's move onto "life views." Haha--how terribly general. Life views...what views? Hmmm, I'll randomly fit colleges into this. Colleges. What a scary but accomplishing thought. At first, I was thinking University of Michigan all the way. After thinking and more thinking (since it's Junior year and it's the time to think), I've decided to go big and aim high! Recent thoughts on colleges: How about Ivy League? Yes, that's right--Denny's considering Yale, Harvard, Princeton, Cornell, and what not. Grand Haven doesn't have much of a history sending students to such selective colleges. However, I am also not very optimistic about getting into these fine institutions. Harvard gets about 14,000 applications every year, and they accept 4,000. Isn't that depressing? Plus, Mr. Klemm, my counselor, was talking about the fact that you probably have to "know someone" there, either on the Admissions Committee or something along those lines. And, since my family knows practically no one working in such institutions (except for someone who my parents haven't called in dozens of years who works at Stanford), I don't think I'll get in. But, I think I'm going to send out those applications--I'll be applying for rejection, but that's okay...I guess!
Kudos for now! Entered by Denny
Thursday, January 9, 2003 at 11:20 a.m. Hi from school--and it's been a long time since I've "hi"-ed on the Utopia. Yes, I'm typing from school right now, which you aren't supposed to do, according to the Technology Code of Ethics. I highly doubt, however, that the Tech department checks up on everything--the Code is hardly ever enforced, unless there are adults rummaging around the room somewhere.
I was going to talk to Mr. Reed yesterday, but I had this strange realization when I was talking to a friend. Science Olympiad uses people. And it took me getting cut for me to realize that. The coaches need to do the best and they have a goal to achieve. However, the cutting process is painful. They put "Charles" on the team because he's great in Earth Science. "Tom" was selected due to his excellence in Physics. Oh, and "Ann"--they're short of Chemistry people this year, so there ya go. However, "Mark" is sitting in the corner, and he hasn't done everything wrong. But they don't need him this year. Yeah, he's good at what he does, but there are people who can take his spot. Okay, he's cut. What a terrible way of selection. I would definitely endorse the middle school selection, which is simply everyone who wants to participate does, and only a select few compete. I understand this because the best participate. I was so disgusted at this relevation that I did not want to see Mr. Reed anymore. I'll have to wait for the digust to tamper off before I see him.
BTW, the Physics project went well, despite two reach-ins. He was really nice about scoring and such, so I got a 104/100, and he gave me all these extra points for action transfers and energy changes I did not count on my flow chart! Only the math problems are left now, for I took the Units Chart portion of the exam today and aced it! Whohooo! What a great way to start off the new year! :) Go 2003!
Kudos for now. Entered by Denny
Sunday, January 5, 2003 at 12:32 a.m. It's rather late (or early, depending on what you want), but I'm going to quickly blog anyways. I just want to say that even more of my friends have been blogging like crazy (and starting blogs for that matter). I found out today that both Elizabeth and Molly have one! Very interesting! Sorry, Molly--it's really hard to decipher what you say sometimes. It's kinda like reading in circles. Whew. It's almost nearly as exhausting as AP English exams! Elizabeth's is a bit more predictable--especially her views on the N. Korea situation, which I agree with for the most part. And Jamie even has one! It's all good--plus Bret, Alli and Ro's blogs. Oh, and Nick--who has revitalized his. Nice job, nice job. Anyways, there are so many links above and many good, interesting stories and blog entries to read. I won't take up any more of your time, except to say that I finally finished Xingjian's Soul Mountain. Took me long enough! I'll have more details later...
And...break is nearly over...AHHHHHHH. Hoping for SNOW DAYS!
Kudos for now. Entered by Denny
Saturday, January 4, 2003 at 01:33 a.m. Well, everyone, I am extremely pleased to announce that the Physics Golf Ball project is finished. Dad and I tested the baking soda and vinegar mixture about an hour ago, and it seems to work fairly well. All that is left to do is working out the little kinks in the machine to make it more and more efficient (which means it gets higher and higher of an A!). I feel so happy now that it's finally done--way too many hours spent, even for school. And, to top it all off, I haven't even considered going into engineering or anything of that nature. What a waste of time...
And, speaking of what I'll be going into, I have really no clue. I think I'm just about giving up hope on being a professor of Asian studies. While it is a career I'd almost die to have, it is also an occupation in which colleges and universities will probably hire foreigners from Asia to teach. While it may be true that my English is probably better than theirs, the class isn't English and it is Asian studies. Besides, my Mandarin is in constant need of improvement. Conversational Cantonese doesn't seem to get you anywhere these days.
Now onto a completely different topic (wouldn't Shaw love that transition?! Query wouldn't either)! Recently, my fellow blogger-friends have been duking it out online! I have to say that it's always fun to read a discussion, as it is hearing one in real life. I think both "dukers" (looks like my English is in need of improvement, too) make valid points. Oh, and the fact that Nick apologized for his many English errors--thank you so much! Also, a word to those who've been blogging about their...negative (I don't think that's the word I want to use)...not so great experiences either traveling or at Ro's house, I want to send out a quick *Cheer up!*; it's all done and over with anyways, message!
Kudos para ahora. <--isn't that nifty?! Entered by Denny
Thursday, January 2, 2003 at 12:46 a.m. Greetings, everyone. I've been taking walks down memory lane by visiting some of the archived posts. Wow! I think my voice has definitely changed over the year(s). For sure, I post less about grades. When I first began blogging, it was as if every post was an update on my grades or evil teachers. Even though they were very nice to me, I was convinced they were evil! What a strange person I was (and probably still am). I don't know if one could say my voice matured, but I certainly sense a change.
Wow. Re-reading all of that definitely puts me in one of those academically oriented moods. First, my English grade has got me on a worry. I currently have an A-, and while we don't have a final exam, I think I'll still have an A overall. It's just that stupid objective test he gave us. I don't even know why he gave it to us. It was terrible. Having read the play in class, we did not go over the details very well. It was terrible. I just believe I worked harder for a better grade!
Kudos for now. Entered by Denny
Denny: Erm. [hesistant reply] We'll see. [smirks broadly]
Atchison laughs.
Quick: So I'm thinking we'll be done with the project Tuesday or Wednesday; when are you guys leaving for the Olympiad?
Denny: Ummmm...[hesistant reply yet again]THEY'RE leaving Wednesday after school.
Quick: Then you'll be fine.
Ariane: I'm sure we'll be teammates. :) [note: Ariane did not know yet; I received this through email]
Caroline: But you were gone today, Denny...it's the first day of school you've missed this year.
David: No way...
Molly: The rumors are true?! No! I can't believe it.
Elizabeth: Are you being serious? Very funny.
I did not respond.
[20 minutes later...]
Smith: You're in Science Olympiad, aren't ya, Denny?
I shook my head no.
Smith: Oh, well you were on it last year. You should have done it this year.
In sixth hour on Friday, classmates bombarded Denny and criticized his anti-Prom policy. Some said that Prom was a once-in-a-lifetime occasion and should be taken as a high priority. Still, Denny remained stubborn.
"I do not attend on planning prom, for I really want a five on the AP Lit test, which is the Monday following the exhausting Prom weekend," Denny said.
Sixth hour students and other peers, however, did not give up hope, as they persisted in their attempts into the weekend. Some, thankfully, knew where the borders were.
"They want me to go with Elizabeth," Denny said.
Denny insists that he does not want to attend Prom in the first place and that asking Elizabeth is not even worth pondering because of such.
"If I were to ask Elizabeth, it could very well ruin a perfectly fine friendship, and I do not wish to do such," Denny said in an official press release to Utopia News Center.
Also, rumours ran rampant this weekend when Utopian reporters spotted Denny with Alli at the school play Friday. Denny also denied any rumours that it was a romantically affiliated event.
"To say that we went as a couple is inappropriate. It is simply a coincedence that we were the only two who ended up going; we invited other people, but they just couldn't make it," Denny said.